Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
