You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Randomize
