): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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