Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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