Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
