he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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