ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
