i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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