So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
