My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
