the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
