You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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