I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
