he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
