he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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