3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
