Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
