She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
