people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
