check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
