Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
