Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
