I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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