VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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