Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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