you traded sex for a burrito?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
