I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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