Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize