I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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