You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
No stitches, just platelets and will power
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
