A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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