It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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