YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Randomize
