this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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