i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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