gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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