So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize