Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize