i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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