we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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