didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
