No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
