i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
