I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize