He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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