you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
