Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
