So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
