The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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