I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
