just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
