is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
