Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
