i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Randomize
