it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
