Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
