new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
