i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
