You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Randomize
